Woman Next Door

Beginning Of A New Year...

2012-01-04T03:14:00.003+08:00

To kick off the year, I have enrolled myself in a dance studio's hip hop class.

For now, it is just a shorted course fee. But if all goes well, meaning I don't hurt myself or aggravate any old injuries in the process, I will try to keep this regular.

So engaging in this series of classes, I'll be able to fulfil the below goals for 2012 really soon!

1. Become a M size again!
3. Start Regular Gym Again
10. Have Fun!

Welcome 2012 Goals!

2011-12-28T02:50:00.002+08:00

Recalling my past one year's goals, I'm glad I've achieved most of my goals.

I've healed my back. And I'm able to run regularly nowadays. (Although I need to get back to routine nowadays, as I'm putting on the fat. Probably due to the irregular sleep).

But I'm still saving for my coupe. Hahaha.. So that's aside for a while. Anyway, COE is high so its not important right now.

Career wise, knowing the bad economy, there's no way I can expand very far this year. Did have several expansions. But hopefully they will come to fruit from next year onwards. Let's pray.

Here's my goals for this next one year. Welcome 2012!

Goals:

1. Become a M size again!
Its amazing how much I've grown over just... 3-4 years after being married. Somehow, after turning 30, my metabolism just disappear! And I grew from M to more than XL size, which makes it hard to buy clothes and lower my own self-confidence. So far, I've shrinked from XL to L size. But will need to shrink back into my old M size to look good. And lose the tummy fats that has accumulated.

2. Start A Regular Low Fat, Low Carbo, Low Sugar Diet - For next 1 year.
The low carbo and low sugar diet is doing quite well. Better than my exercising. So this will continue..
And yes, I'd need to eat less chicken cutlet. Bad....

3. Start Regular Gym Again
The good looking guys at the gym is a draw. But everyone's driven spirit there is what really makes one stay on and exercise. You just want to be one of the many disciplined people there. So I'll need to go there often. Hopefully 2-3 times a week for light jog. To keep my heart strong. No tones for arms and shoulders, as they grow too fast. Just light jog. Also to strengthen my other body parts with past injuries. To reduce their possibilities of recurring again.

4. Minimize Beer
Continue to drink very little or no beer at all most of times. So I can reduce my tummy!

5. Remove My Car's CNG Tank
Or change a new car. One way or another. To be considered again.

6. Ralgh Lauren, etc Wardrobe
More clothes! These are the rewards that await me once I reach my M size! Argh.. how long more to go.

7. Sleep Regular Hours
Need to stop sleeping at sofas.

8. Clear Eye Bags
This is related to the sleep and eyes problem I've been having. Hope I can clear the eye bags.

9. Earn Loads Of Money
(This will be an amount known only to me.) I must reach the 2012 target at the end of the year. Its time. 2012 is the year I've been waiting for. From now on, things will be even better.

10. Have Fun!
Once everything is achieved, it must be time to celebrate! Life is short.

Racing

2011-12-28T02:27:00.001+08:00

Racing is exhilarating.

It also happens to be a hobby I can actually do these days, and that I happen to be pretty good in. Of course the car is not good enough, yet.

Racing makes you forget all the issues you ever have, and lets you concentrate in that moment of fun. It makes you feel very in control of everything. Yet with a tinge of risk.

Overcoming this risk makes one feel happy of the achievement. It gives one self-confidence.

Hopefully, one day I can get a supercar like one of these... The upcoming Alfa Romeo 4C. Out in 2013. Which will have me racing the Singapore roads from 0 to 100 km/hr in 4 seconds. Breathless will be the word.

Alfa Romeo 4C Coupe

Life is short. Have fun.

Quote 22 - Grab & Lose It

2011-12-08T01:03:00.001+08:00

"The harder you try to grasp onto something, the more likely you will lose it. So the point is, don't try to own anything. And everything will flock to you."

- Womannextdoor

Alfa Cars

2011-12-05T08:11:00.001+08:00

My Alfa dreams have to be put aside. Some months ago, I found some news on bad quality on its past models. And that their current models are not really their 'style', despite being very stylist already.

Their current CEO, who just stepped on board, is supposed to change the company and make their cars as stylist and good as before. He has announced that the new flagship sedan model, will be out in end 2012 or in 2013.

And we have to let other people buy, and see if there are any nice reviews on it by critics and users.

We'll need to wait a while then.

Because the next stylish car I like, are too far away. Audi TTS at S$350,000, and Aston Martin at S$800,000 range.

Hmm. Need to get reborn as second generation rich kid next life. So that I can be a racer.

Steinway

2011-12-05T03:30:00.001+08:00

Steinway Concert Grand D - Side View

Steinway brand of pianos to pianist are like, Hermes brand for the fashion fanatics. Basically the top notch in the industry.

Once you tried Steinway, you won't want anything else.

Thing is, price tag of S$250,000 is one thing. Having the space in your house to fit this, and the hall space big enough to provide the best resonance for this, is another. Generally, one will need a house of 20 to 60 mil worth to be able to properly contain this concert grand.

There are only 4-5 private owners for this in Singapore.

Steinway Concert Grand

So I have to aim the baby grand, which is about half the price, I have to find and aim one good penthouse unit somewhere, to house this baby grand.

Ok. At the very list, hopefully can get another brand of baby grand into a house. Have not decided which brand, yet.

Piano

2011-12-05T03:14:00.000+08:00

Musical instruments are an amazing bunch of things. Different quality of instruments will evoke different types of feelings from the player. And will touch the listeners.

Recently, I went into a music shop, wanting to see the promotion and quality of pianos. I started playing some random tunes on some of them. The tunes are all new tunes that I composed on the spot. The better the piano sound quality, somehow, the better and more emotional the tunes are.

The salesperson was very friendly, and even unlocked a studio to show me a special Japan model, and also another highest end upright piano for me to test. She said she let me try all because she find that I'm very adsorbed in the playing, although I only played on each briefly.

The pianos may cost a few thousand to ten over thousand Singapore dollars. But hearing the resonance of the sound, is priceless.

Playing on the top few models, made me feel both calm, and emotional at the same time. The tunes that came out of me, reminded me of the past, my present, and the future I have to face. Also, the choices I had made. And the sadness I felt and still feel. All those, in the short moments of playing the pianos. Despite the rush of emotions, playing the pianos made a part of me feel completed. And made my day, momentarily.

Although I know... I can never feel as completed as I used to, maybe something like this can feel a part of the void.... Probably, until I find something else, that can fill the void.

Composing

2011-01-11T00:17:00.000+08:00

It has been some time since I touched my music keyboard. Somehow, I just don't have the mood.

I also started to believe that dreams don't become reality. I stopped wanting to try.

It is tiring to always wanting to try, but never being successful.

How long do you try before you give up?

When things don't seem to improve.

Wishes..

2011-01-11T00:02:00.000+08:00

If wishes come true, then we wouldn't be here...

Unconscious Minds...

2010-12-27T17:16:00.000+08:00

They say when we are high on alcohol or drunk, our inner thoughts appear stronger than it was. So for mine, I guess I know what they are.

Anger. For sure. Is often suppressed in our conscious minds.

So yes, a part of me is very angry. For not taking 'us' as seriously as he should. I don't see efforts being made to change it for the better. And I see ourselves in the same situation as 3 years ago, and 10 years later; meaning nothing will be changed at all. This make me feel so stuck and unhappy sometimes. So unhappy I think my life sucks.

I know my temper is bad at such times. And it will probably cost me my driving license soon. I'm expecting a letter from the authorities for the recent mistake made. So I regretted on that. But what's done is done, I can only pray for now.

Yet, that outburst of anger is just a symptom of the actual problem, which never seems to be addressed.

Seriously, I no longer hope for a change. Because I'm so tired.

Goals For 2011

2010-11-17T15:59:00.000+08:00

I've decided. On some interim goals for the next 1 year.

1. Heal Back - Able to do sit-ups, and advanced back exercises in 2 months.
2. Running - Able to run continuously 30 mins at a Cross-Trainer machine. In 2 months.
3. Savings for a new car! Within next 1-2 years.

As for my favorite sport Badminton... Sigh. I don't know if I can ever play it again. Let's see how things go.

Your Car & Your Image

2010-11-17T15:53:00.000+08:00

People say: The car you drive tells others what kind of person you are. And I agree.

But a close friend recently told me that the Alfa Romeo car is very 'beng' (a Singapore slang term that means it will look like the owner is an uncouth, distasteful, and uneducated rowdy male). Reason being? The number plate is on the side.

*Faints*...

Get Fit Plans...

2010-11-17T15:44:00.001+08:00

Getting to the gym is good thing. Good for the ego. Good for one's self-esteem.

Firstly, there's the good bods of the guys and gays to look at. Eye-candy always makes one's mood better. And this good mood can last a few days. At least till the next session.

Secondly, having guys in the gym remind me that I have to get back into my old shape, so that the good looking guys will stare at me! They already do now, just want to be as sexy as before!

Thirdly, working out with other people in the gym is a funny thing. When you see others working hard, you want to look like you are making a lot of effort as well. It is all about image.

Fourthly, the exercising really increases one's energy level in other chores. Amazingly. Hopefully, I can heal my back soon, and don't ever get back issues again. Need the muscles to protect the injuries parts man. I want to go to Universal Studios and have a kid man!

Lastly, I want to go on a shopping spree. But the branded stuff only serves the smaller sizes! This is a super motivating factor. Haha...

Time to shrink and trim!

Car Dreams Re-Aligned...

2010-11-17T15:25:00.001+08:00

I've decided. To re-arrange my cars-to-get order list.

The one and only... Alfa Romeo 159

List are as follows:
1. Toyota Axio (current) - 2008
2. Alfa Romeo 159
3. Audi TT Coupe **Dream Car!!
4. Audi A4

5. BMW 320i / Merc E200
6. Mercs CLS/SLKth
7. Audi A6 Coupe
8. Lambo... Haa... Its the big dream.

Hmm.... Alfra Romeo... here I come!!

Monday Blues

2010-09-20T13:38:00.000+08:00

Feels very tired of life sometimes... What is the point of living if you can't do any of the things that makes you happy?

Racing Dreams

2010-08-11T02:55:00.000+08:00

Car racing makes me feels alive and challenged. It is the one skill I know I am good at. And I always wished I was born a guy and in a rich family so I can race professionally. It would have been such a different life.

So when I plan about buying the different cars, my plans includes training myself to be able to drive the better cars. Besides pretending I'm a professional racer, these plans also motivates me to do better in my career so that I can afford these cars.

Life is going to be as fun as it gets...

My TTS, here I come.

An Alfa Romeo Fan Is Born...

2010-08-11T02:39:00.002+08:00

Alfa Romeo 2uettottanta Concept (2010)

Since that day, I think I have become an Alfa Romeo car fan. Although the car is so powerful that it is not easy to handle for most normal drivers, I find it very challenging.

I saw this concept car on a website today. Super sleek!! I want something like this some day.

Still planning my cars-to-get order list.

List are as follows:
1. Toyota Axio (current) - 2008
2. Subaru Legacy/WRX/Imprezza /
3. Alfa Romeo 159 / Audi A4
4. Audi TT Coupe **Dream Car!!
5. Audi A4 / BMW 320i / Merc E200
6. Mercs CLS/SLK
7. Audi A6 Coupe
8. Lambo... Haa... Its the big dream.

I aim to get my dream car 4 cars from now.. Time to work harder for our goals!!

Cars....

2010-08-11T02:21:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, I wonder how long my current car will last. Time flies. Its been with me for about 2 years+. Within another blink of the eye, it will be 3 years again. Whilst its still within 3 years warranty of car, I guess I have to decide soon, on whether to sell it at 3rd year, or try to let it ride on till about 5th/6th year. I'm not that sure it will be able to last a few more years.

So I guess, I'm thinking still. I wanted something really fast this time. Something I'd enjoy the ride all the time. And win races all the time. Haha...

So recently, I went to test drive this Alfa Romeo 159 model, and its great!! Love the power. Suits my speeding needs perfectly. Haha..

Tried the red color model.

My neighbour has this black version. (Yes, my neighbours are very rich.)

The dashboard of this model is simply sleek beyond my expectations!

Also in the consideration are the 2010 Subaru Legacy and Impreza. Have always been a Subaru fan. Those are more practical choices anyway. Sigh.

These few days, I have been imagining the much more powerful engine sounds coming from my Toyota Axio. Suffering from speed withdrawals.

To be or not to be....

Disappointments and Irritations....

2010-07-03T01:38:00.000+08:00

Have you ever feel disappointed or irritated? Sometimes I do. More these days.

I don't think I have high expectations anymore. In fact, I don't have much expectations. Yet, time and time again, I feel myself tested to the brim.

I feel so tired trying. To the point that sometimes, I just want to give up.

Sigh. Life sucks.

A Breather

2010-04-28T00:43:00.000+08:00

How often do you get to breathe? For me, it has been some time.

Although I have always worked hard, and played hard, but have hardly slowed down my pace.

Only these few days, I managed to not work at night. A breather.

And amazingly, today when I get some calls on notifications of some projects being slightly delayed, I do not feel panicky or disappointing. Rather, I was a bit relieved. I don't want to overwork my staff and myself. After all, there's still an upcoming dip in stock market. Need to stay conservative and stand by for it.

In business, you never know what will happen sometimes.

Let's hope for the best for this year onwards.

Poking Thoughts..

2010-02-19T19:55:00.000+08:00

Why do we get married? Have you wonder? I wondered when I was single. And every once in a while nowadays, being married.

I guess, for the below reasons:

1. To have someone love you till the end of your life.
2. To have companionship whenever you need it.
3. To have constant sex that don't require money.
4. To get sex whenever you need it.
5. To get constant orgasm (for all sorts of good skin and happy feelings reasons) without using vibrator.
6. To buy flat together
7. To move away from mother and irritating siblings, and live in peace.
8. To make you feel richer with a combined income.
9. To have kids of your own someday to pass your 'combined income' to.
10. To have someone help you do your housework, or share the load with you.
11. To have someone to hug daily.
12. To support you financially whenever you need it.
13. To allow you to be financially free. (The guy pay for your everything)
14. To get free jeweleries and gifts on your birthdays and special days of the year.
15. To have someone spend the Valentine's day with you, so you don't seem sad every year.
16. To have someone provide you with advice whenever you are stuck with some problem.

There. How many of the above have you achieved so far by getting married?

Question to ponder.

Friday Nights

2010-02-19T19:28:00.000+08:00

Have you ever wonder if you are able to stay alone whole life? For me, I think I am quite sure I would probably go insane. Should it happens.

Already now, almost every Friday, I am asking around to see which friend is available to see who is free to meet me for dinner and drinks. No matter how much vindiction I have, to do my work on a Friday night, somehow I would change my mind the last minute.

It is sometimes too tiring to work long hours everyday of the week. I would just want to party. If possible. Moreover, it seems sad to be alone at home on a Friday night.

You might ask where my husband is? He is obviously busy with friends as well.

So yes, I'm a social animal obviously. And I guess it is good that I'm given free time to meet whoever I want at least one day of the week.

So freedom, you want it? I want it too.

Just that being in a relationship that requires commitment, yet, don't always provide me with companionship, is somewhat... contradicting to me.

Welcome to a real married life in Singapore.

Chinese New Year Rest.. or Woes?

2010-02-17T01:39:00.000+08:00

Have you ever like meeting up with every relative/friends during Chinese New Year? I do.

It has been a good rest, I think. Other than the recent fever and flu that rendered me voiceless for two weeks, this has been my longest break from work.

Long enough to probably finish clearing my work backlog, and not too long to make me feel bored and tired from lazying around at home. Generally long enough to let me think about things in life.

Old Friends

2010-02-12T00:56:00.000+08:00

Have you ever wonder how your old friends are doing? Perhaps, people you use to love or hang out with.

Facebook nowadays provide us with so much info, we need, and don't need about people. And yes, I have found some old friends through my friends. And although I didn't add them as 'my friend' in facebook, I read through their profile and comments to others. I feel like a stalker.

Sometimes, I wonder how my life would have been, if things have been different.

From their photos, they looked so happy. Makes me wish I were in the photos too.

If only we can all change our lives, to what we want.

Long Nights

2010-02-03T01:41:00.000+08:00

Somehow the nights seemed longer these days. Until it becomes a drag. Until work seemed much more enjoyable than it already was. Amazing....

Its Fri..

2010-01-16T01:22:00.000+08:00

Sigh. I'm tired. I need someone to stop me from feeling tired...

If Someone Is Dying

2010-01-12T18:11:00.003+08:00

Have you ever felt that someone close to you is dying? I did. And I still do.

I can almost hear that it is on a 'pending' mode. It is almost just waiting to die. Even in the silence of the night, I can hardly hear it beating.

Life sucks. I do believe it so strongly now.

When you least expect it to be, God will turn everything around.

Then you have to choose. And at that moment, I chose to be happy. I had realised what makes me really happy. But perhaps a few moments too late.

Life is funny. In those few short moments, I realised many things. I realised what and who I cannot live without. I realised, what 'devastating' means.

I remembered the same feeling I used to have. Once so very long ago.

When everything seems to fall apart.

When it happened, I would try my best to try to keep it going. Maybe, I always tried too hard. That is why it will fail in the end.

If only we can turn back time.

Quote 21 - Life-Changing Moments

2010-01-12T18:08:00.002+08:00

"When they say that it is a life-changing moment, it is so true. Because of that one moment, my whole life is changed."

- Womannextdoor

Memoirs

2010-01-11T11:15:00.002+08:00

Have you ever had a memory you really wish to forget? Now, it felt like it did before, when someone hurt me very long ago. How do I forget it? I didn't. I always remember it very clearly.

It only stopped hurting when I seeing him. And stopped remembering him.

I hate myself sometimes. Nowadays, I hate myself even more. And I don't know how to make things better.

Perhaps by disappearing into thin air. Removing any evidence of existence. Perhaps by that, it will make things better.

Standstill

2010-01-10T20:55:00.004+08:00

Time flies. Suddenly it just happened. It is all like a nightmare. It seemed vague yet real.

If only it isn't real.

It certainly isn't helping the situation. Probably only making it worse.

We shall see.

Life never seems to go the way we want. Sigh

Relived

2010-01-03T21:00:00.002+08:00

When was the last time you ever felt truly at bliss? I felt so yesterday, when my music keyboard was delivered to my new house.

I remembered why its my dream after all. It rejuvenizes me.

And its good. Because I wrote a great tune on it within the first 2 hrs of playing it.

I remembered my reason for being alive.

Life is good. For now. For this moment.

Let us live in the moments of goodness...

Long December

2009-12-08T20:14:00.004+08:00

While walking back from the car, I took a deep breath. I tried taking in as much oxygen as I could, from the air around me. But, there's nothing. It just doesn't rejuvenate me as much as I thought it would.

I feel tired. Probably from the long work day. Probably from the pile of things I need to do again tonight. Probably from trying to work more than twice as hard in the past 1.5 years because of the recession. And probably from sleeping a lot less each day than before.

At that moment, I missed having a perhaps more fulfiling life, and having more excitement in my life. I missed my Korg music keyboard. Which, all these, would have be able to help me destress and feel happier. Or something.

Perhaps at the point of choosing to pursue my ambitions, I have lost part of my freedom and my time to relax more. Perhaps also, at the point of me seeing the last piece of debris from my Korg keyboard, it probably meant the demise of my music dreams.

Perhaps all these are destined. We can never have everything we want in our lives.

Late Nights

2009-12-04T02:40:00.004+08:00

It is late. But for the first time in many days, I am tired but not that sleepy. Sleepy, but tolerable. Somehow, my brain is still awake.

The past several days has been a hectic mess. I was so down with flu and fever, while still working long hours and rushing project deadlines till late at night sometimes. Not exactly doing the programming, just overseeing and checking the end results. Too many project launches at around these 2 weeks.

I do feel exhausted. About life. About everything, sometimes.

And when I come home, I wish I have some outputs of stress.

So far, home is the best place for me to rest and watch tv. Nothing more.

I miss my old music keyboard sometimes. And the recording equipment I had. But all these were gone. Gone with the wind.

Life goes on. Does it?

I realised I am starting to miss a lot of things I used to have in the past. Why is this so...

Life Decisions

2009-11-15T21:57:00.003+08:00

Have you ever wonder if a certain decision you made might be wrong? At times, when I am angry over something, my mind seems to be more focused and clear. And in those moments, I start to have second thoughts.

Perhaps it is in one of these moments, we would think back, into those days where we were much younger, and prefer the life back then. But how long ago? Recently, I was asked this question in facebook: If you were given a choice to go back in time, when would that be?

The answers most people put were in their teens or under-10 years old.

I guess, life is a lot simpler back then. We don't have to think so much about everything in life.

The answer I put was 23. I guess, I still might prefer that. To me, that was a major turning point in life where I had made some decisions from that age onwards, which probably changed my life forever.

If only life is simpler.

Entertaining In-Laws

2009-10-18T00:50:00.002+08:00

Have you ever wonder that everything that happens in your life is destined? I did. When my in laws were in Singapore for the past 2 weeks, I believed so.

Somehow, whenever they are here, both my husband and I are really happy. He's their kid. Of course he is happy to see them. For me, it feels like a holiday too. Although every time they are here, I'm the chauffeur on call once I'm off work.

It is very tiring. To be driving whenever the others can rest in the car, from all the shopping, and walking around. It is tiring to be the tour guide, basically.

When I look at them, since we got married, they treated me like their own kid. Shower me with their care and concern.

It makes me think: I'm lucky to have two sets of parents.

What If I Don't Die?

2009-09-07T22:08:00.003+08:00

Have you started making plans, to cater for accidents or illnesses? Today, I'm going to start to plan.

Although I have gotten insurance for all accidents, illnesses and all accidental medical costs, I have never really planned what would I do if I am unable to work?

On my eyes, for example, there can only be 3 possibilities.

- partial/gradual blindness that affects how I look

- partial/gradual blindness that does not affects how I look

- sudden blindness

I also thought about what do I do if I become deaf. I would basically can't talk or hear.

If any of the above happens, basically, I can't really work well.

I would be alive but better off dead. Haha.. Sigh. I don't think I can survive!

Need to expand business really soon!!

Accidentally Hit

2009-09-07T13:11:00.000+08:00

Have you ever thought of how you can go on living your life, if you are injured permanently or disabled? Over the weekend, I got hit in the eye by a shuttle-cock during my weekly badminton session.

My first thoughts were: "I will not be able to wear lens or do Lasiq surgery anymore." and "I have to wear specs to do sales from now on already.".

I panicked, literary. Who wouldn't be?

I saw the shuttle coming but it was too fast, and I couldn't duck nor block it with my free hand or my badminton racket.

Luckily, I managed to close my eyelids in time, so it hit me on my eyelids instead of my eyeball.

A friend called out to me asking if I can still see, meaning to check my lens have broke or not. I guess it hadn't. I was in shock for a while. Then went to check on the lens in the toilet.

All seems fine even as of now, 24 hrs later. Hopefully things will stay the same.

It was scary experience.

I don't know how life will be, if this really affects my sight. Sigh.

What Would We Be Like?

2009-09-05T08:03:00.004+08:00

Have you ever wonder how you will die? How you will be like when you are older? Maybe not as in very very old, but just... older? I'm starting to wonder how life will be like for me when I'm 45 and maybe 60 years old.

Generally, I reckon, I'm starting to get concerned for my own health.

Perhaps by then, I would be relaxing. Just managing business. Or rather, manage my staff. They manage my business. Haha.. Ideally, of course. Subjected to the economy. Sigh. Nowadays, we have to state the economy as the 'disclaimer' factor.

To be frank, my real target of just managing my current core business on the overall direction and strategies is at age of 34. And manage any other businesses only by directions and strategies by age of 40.

Meaning, my core businesses will be fully functional without me by then. Big enough to be fully managed by my sales and marketing staff by then.

One of the reasons is, I do want to have kids by 34 or 35 years old. Else it would be dangerous for me. Also, being in business, there's always a lot of stress. If I'm very needed in every sales process by then still, then, it would be probably quite risky for the baby. Or even me.

Another reason is that I don't think I can take too many more years of 'not sleeping much'. You know, human organs start to deteriorate if you sleep little and unhealthy lifestyle.

Food-wise, I think I'm pretty 'average' on the stuff I eat. Maybe a bit too much MSG. Hmm.... Have occasional alcohol and soft drinks each week. Of course. Unavoidable. Hehe..

Sports-wise, I think my average once-a-week-badminton session is very basic. I'd try to do gym with some handsome and fit instructor. Hopefully by second half of next year, I can start this. During weekdays. During work hours. :D

Sleep-wise, I think I have problems. I have been falling asleep suddenly at night, as long as I amd resting in a reasonably confortable position. Within seconds, I'd do it. Unknowingly sometimes. That's how tired I am.

Well, blame the stupid recession. Nowadays, I have to work twice as hard to reach the same targets. So now, I work about 16 to 18 hrs each day. I try not to work on weekends, although I have to work about 5 hours every Sunday night. That leaves me about 4 hrs sleep on average each night.

So if this goes on for a few more years, I would have accumulated about 4 to 6 years of little sleep, which makes me extremely haggard looking. Or probably, looking good, but organs are all deteriorating super fast.

Maybe, I have already shortened my own lifespan by 2 days for every 1 day I sleep late. So maybe, my life will be plagued by illnesses by age of 45 and onwards.

Sigh. But I guess if I'm destined to be a "first-generation businessman", life is like that. I wonder how the rest of the millionaires did it.

Look at the Macau casino guy. Look at Warren Buffet. They are so old and still kicking. I reckon one is a bad guy (did everything he can to get shortcut to get super rich), and one is a well-known super-conservative spender (if he ever spend at all).

Look again, at IT industry's Steve Jobs. He is down with some liver or some internal organs issue. That is the problem! Typically, all technological based companies owners are very stressed especially at the beginning and they die young because they work too hard last time.

Sigh. Need to quickly grow company faster then I can relax more.

I think I don't have much time left. I give myself another only 1 more year of little sleep. After that, it has to be 7 hrs all the way.

Go go go!!

Confession..

2009-09-03T16:35:00.000+08:00

I have a confession I want to make here. I had a very interesting dream that I remembered vaguely about. It was a very happy dream.

But I realised this blog is not as private as I would like. So I can't disclose it here... even if I can remember it. For example, some close associates and my hubby reads this.

Moral of the story: We should all have more than 1 blog. Especially blogs that people don't read!

Tiring!

2009-09-03T16:22:00.000+08:00

Today is a very tiring day. And I still need to travel to Tampines to grab this better scanner that I had. Sigh.

Moral of the story: Leave better equipment in office.

Women

2009-08-31T10:29:00.000+08:00

I seriously want to consider doing a business that target market is men. Dealing with women often waste a lot of time.

Even at work, women get emotional over common conversations. And you have to explain and pacify them so they don't think too much into it. To men, it is easy. Its just a task.

Like me, I think like a guy sometimes. So maybe I'm a good boss. Haaa..

Sigh. Troublesome customers. Need someone to help me kill them.

Doing Nothing...

2009-08-29T02:06:00.002+08:00

This is getting tiring. At work, to fight the recession, one has to work doubly hard to achieve the same results. At home, Friday nights are always boring alone at home, if I'm home.

Sigh. Life goes on...

My Singapore, My Home...

2009-08-17T18:01:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, I missed having a warmth house to go back to. Somewhere I call my home. Having so many things happening at home for the past 2-3 years, I can't help but feel sad sometimes.

Life was really good when you have your mother beside you. You can complain to her about anything. She still cooks great food for you at the end of the day. She also helps you clean the house without any complaints, and very promptly too. Most importantly, she wakes you up every morning on time.

But I guess, I no longer have that around. The closest I will probably feel homely in, is my new house.

Imagine the wide space and neat environment. Wide sofas and large LCD TV monitor. And my own neat work room. It feels almost perfect.

Best place to chill out and drink at home on weekends.

Facing Divorce..

2009-08-17T17:47:00.000+08:00

Recently a close friend of mine is going through divorce. To me, that is an unthinkable thought. I always treat love as the sacred thing in marriage. And that marriage shouldn't fail. Perhaps to the extend that even if it does, I will do my best to not to consider divorce. Partly because it is a very costly affair. Haha..

But jokes aside. I think that my friends are rather brave, to choose divorce.

This is like any other stable boy-girl relationship, when you break up, you have to explain to everyone. And in a marriage, you have to explain to all your friends and family.

But probably only the 2 of you understand truly why it fails. And probably the reason is too private to share with other people. They won't understand it anyway.

Still, it is quite a hassle to go through. Probably something that will break you into pieces. As if being together hasn't.

I once have a divorcee gal friend who went around telling everyone to break up early, and not go through divorce if possible. Her words were, "Even if you have to abandon the dinner deposit, do it. The actual costs of the divorce is a lot more than that!". She sounded funny that time to me. Because I was about to ROM that time. Perhaps not very timely advice to me. But I guess she meant it with good intentions.

Well.. Life goes on. No matter what routes we choose for ourselves.

Sometimes.. Love is tiring.

2009-08-17T17:20:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I think after being in a relationship for some time, you feel tired. Tired of trying to be the only person that seems to try to keep things going. At my age, somehow I am hearing more and more stories of relationships failing than going strong. I know it is demoralising to hear such things, but I guess this is part of reality.

It is normally about lack of love, or lack of showing love, or lack of sex in the relationship. Somehow, I find that spouses who can't understand these 3 obviously basic needs in a relationship, are just asking for it.

When the relationship feels strained, being single somehow seems like an attractive option. And when you are single, you feel lonely too. There's never a right side of the fence to sit at. As they say, the grass is always greener on the other side.

Recently I realised more and more of my married friends are available to meet up for drinks on a friday night. I guessed. That shows it. To me, I think if you are free to meet up regularly on a Friday night, there are problems with your marriage. Because... why aren't you meeting up your spouse?

Common reasons are: "Too boring", "she is busy", "she is looking after kids", etc. There are always some particular reason.

What is this coming to? I find this a scray trend.

Perhaps that is why I feel that I rather not have any kids. At least for next few years. You don't really know what might happen.

Michael Jackson

2009-07-08T03:56:00.002+08:00

When I was younger, I was in awe of Michael Jackson. I wanted to write something here for him today because even until now, I still am.

Well. He was a great composer, arranger, and dance choreographer. Super talented, and dedicated musician.

In the past, somewhere in the 90s, I was doing music arrangement at home. Hearing his songs always amazes me. One of the hardest thing to do as a composer, is to surpass your last achievement and create something new. And he does that. Almost every time.

Though he becomes a pyscho in the end, he's still very talented to me.

*Always A Fan*

Emo-Less

2009-07-08T03:49:00.002+08:00

I don't remember when it was the last time since I do it. I haven't compose any nice tunes for some months. I guess I am tired. In some sense.

Having had my music keyboards damaged beyond (cheap) repairs, I have not gotten another music keyboard yet. I knew, I had to save for a keyboard or 2 keyboards I really like. Else, I would not feel the 'feeling' when I'm playing it.

I guess partly, the reason is because I was too tired from work. Too lack of sleep. So whenever I'm not doing anything and not outside, I am probably dozing off. Also, too stress from work to feel anything for the hard keys piano I have in hubby's parents' house.

Also, I feel a bit dried up of feelings. Kind of like emotionless. Until the point that I wonder if maybe I should stop writing songs. What if I'm around 50 when I sell my first song? Sounds sad...

Sigh.

Joke 4 - Houston Part 2

2009-07-07T23:35:00.003+08:00

Singapore Version:

Man 1: "Giant, Giant! We have a problem!"

Man 2: "What?"

Man 1: "I can't find Courts!"

Man 2: "Ok.. Its opposite us. Walk over and cross the road."

Man 1: "Giant, Giant!"

Man 2: "What?"

Man 1: "Do you know who I am??"

Man 2: "Ikea!"

Joke 3 - Houston Part 1

2009-07-07T23:27:00.002+08:00

US Version 1:

Man 1: "Houston, Houston! We have a problem!"

Man 2: "What?"

Man 1: "We can't find Phoenix."

Man 2: "Call Phoenix la.. !" *hang up*

Man 1: "Hello?.... "

US Version 2:

Man 1: "Houston, Houston!"

Man 2: "We have a problem!"

Man 1: "How did you know?"

Man 2: "I mean we have a problem!"

Man 1: ".... sorry, wrong number" *hang up*

What Outlest...

2009-06-12T03:30:00.004+08:00

I realised I don't have much outlets of stress lately.

Besides having little sleep, I have to cut down on sugar. So there's no more chocolates every night, and no more than 1 iced milo every day. No more coke during weekdays either.

No more music keyboards to jam my frustrations away. So no new tunes in my head. No more new songs for my old tunes, because the lyricist did not work on my tunes. So no letting it out at the music studio.

No more dancing the night away at discos.

Also, living in a house that is not neat also makes me feel frustrated at times. Because I'm a neat freak.

Looking at the mirror give me stress. Being past 30 really makes one put on weight a lot more easily. Sigh. No more looking as good as before..

And dinner in the north is really limited and overly-oily.

So I guess... Only caffeine during work. 2 doses of coffee daily. To perk up the day.

Only badminton at weekends sometimes. But that gives my kneecap stress and pain. Sigh.

And the tv.. but that's not interactive...

Sigh. I need to find more free-time and go out on my own. Perhaps start to party at discos again. Or perhaps grab a couple of smoke and drinks to chill out. Its been a long time since I've done that.

Else, I would probably be dipping into depression soon. Sigh.

Tired, But Can't Sleep...

2009-06-12T03:23:00.003+08:00

I have never been more tired, and not sleeping. Just that my mind can't seem to sleep. I just keep on thinking about the issues.

About everything in my life now.

Sometimes, life seems like a drag.

I need to focus. Sigh.

Health Crap...

2009-06-07T22:17:00.003+08:00

I knew I had to do something. Start to take medications for knee cap more often. And hope it doesn't hurt when I go gym now. I'm trying to hit the gym regularly.

Something seems to be wrong. I realised I put on some weight recently. I didn't eat more. I slept a lot less. I ate about 2-3 times more sweet stuff than I did last time, when I was living with my parents. And I only eat outside at hawkers or eat instant noodles at home daily. Food was definitely a lot more salty, and more oily than my old diet.

To confirm my suspicions, I did a bit of research on the net on the symptoms. They were symptoms for fatty liver, and for diabetes. I know I'm kind of addicted to too much ice milo, and coke recently.

Afraid for my own life, I need to revert back to a healthier lifestyle.

Health aside, I also need to work hard to get back my own self-esteem. To fit into my old clothes again! Aaargggh...

Sigh. Life is bad.

Race Against Time

2009-05-24T17:49:00.007+08:00

Have you ever felt that you are racing against time? There are so many things you have to do. And there's is not enough time, in each day, or in your lifetime now.

I do. Occasionally, my knee cap feels painful. And I would remember my vindictions in life. There are so many things I have to get done. Get thinner. Get rich. Get some sleep. Eat medicine for the knee cap. Etc.

Just like what the older people tell me last time, and what my brother complains to me occasionally now, the older we get, the more tired we feel. Not mentally, just physically.

Although our brains are as sharp and energetic, our bodies may suffer under our own actions. Like me, I push myself to the limits of sleep. I spend about 16 hours a day on work, leaving about only 4-5 hours for sleep. Sometimes even less.

For that, I'm glad that I started out doing businesses early. I started in my mid twenties. And had more space for failures when I was single and "asset-less".

Less risks means I can afford to take more risks in life. I did. On and off. But I believe in order to become very rich, its a balanced of conservative and risk-taker mindsets. Risk-taker businessmen often have very high and very low points in their business days. Conservative businessmen only have a slow and steady growth in everything.

Let's hope my theories work.

I believe... 5 and 10 years from now, I would know if everything I planned was correct. I believe it will be. :)

What Makes You... Feel More Afraid?

2009-05-07T23:32:00.002+08:00

Scenario 1: Lizard resting on the wall along the narrow walkway. And you need to get to the other side of the walkway. Most of the times, its to the toilet.

Scenario 2: None

Answer: Scenario 1.

No other thing can beat it.

What Makes You... Feel More Irritated?

2009-03-20T13:49:00.002+08:00

Scenario 1. Living in a house that is not neat and clean.
Scenario 2. Living in a house that empty of furniture.

Answer: Scenario 1. I need the space and cleanliness to do work properly and relax properly. Anything that irritates me will often set the trigger for my skin and all sorts of allergies. Sigh...

What Makes You.. Angrier?

2009-03-20T13:40:00.004+08:00

Scenario 1. Some SCC juniors who are illogical and rude to you the elder.
Scenario 2. Some idiot taking up your favourite parking lot in the condo carpark.

Answer: Scenario 2. Bloody hell...

Quote 20 - Being Judgemental

2009-03-16T23:21:00.002+08:00

"I'm judgemental not because I'm biased, but because I am always right."

- WomanNextDoor

Quote 19 - Vampires In Movies

2009-03-11T00:21:00.002+08:00

"The movie Van Helsing rocks! Especially when vampires die. But I think the vampires talk and play around too much b4 killing humans. That's why they get killed by humans so easily... "

- WomanNextDoor

Reminising A Good Old Friend...

2009-03-02T23:55:00.026+08:00

Do you have a good old friend you missed and have not talked to in years? Recently, I found an old friend in facebook. But he has yet to reply my message out to him.

I missed him. We used to hang out when we were younger. We would go hang out at his house, and play games. We watched movies at the old cinema together. And as we re-united in our early 20s, we went dinners and clubbing together. We had many wild nights together in those days.

For the record, he was the first guy I wrote a song for. Before I left for university overseas, I sent him the demo of the song. He sent back a card to me, and rejected me in a nice way. The hurt didn't come until the reality hits. After that, I wrote a song that was even sadder.

Excluding this other guy in secondary school whom I liked, who rejected me then too, this good friend was my first real rejection. The only rejection, actually.

On that other guy I liked in secondary school, I wasn't ready to start a relationship then. I knew I was too young. But I didn't want to be a secret admirer and regret not saying it out in the future. I wanted to just say it out, and then stay as friends. At least then, I tried. If you never try, you will never know.

With this old friend, it was a different case. When I started working, he was still in university. We see each other dating different people throughout. I guess, he never take me as a girl. We had probably known each other for too long. And he probably never thought once that I was pretty. I don't blame him. I had dorky glasses in secondary school, and only started wearing lens at end of poly.

So, as I couldn't get him to notice me, I dated his best friend who did. But of course, the relationship was quite superficial and short, and didn't work out. The three of us stopped partying together as a group since, as it was awkward. And we haven't catch up since.

I guessed, he was my first love. And also my first good old buddy.

My secondary friends recently told me they thought we would end up together. Well, I thought so too. But I guess, it is difficult.

With him, I always felt that I wasn't good looking enough for him. Somehow, he would invoke the lack of self-confidence problem I had in secondary school. I thought he was too good looking. And I always felt that I wasn't good enough to stand beside him.

Only when I started wearing contact lens, I gained my self-confidence. Because guys started to notice me. It was perhaps this reason, that made me dated only the good-looking guys since university. I wanted to prove to myself that I can get any good-looking guy I want. I guess, wanted him to notice me.

Thinking back, sometimes I think I shouldn't have caved in to lust and started the relationship with his best friend. If I hadn't, I would still have him as a good friend.

At the end of the day, I still prefer if we had stayed good friends today. I really didn't have much happy and fun memories when in primary and secondary school. The only ones I had in those days, were those with him.

Wanna Start A Family?

2009-02-28T03:06:00.014+08:00

Would you like to start building your family by having some kids? You probably would. Not me. At least not for now.

Thing is, every other week, I have friends coming to me and asking me when I am having kids. It is getting very irritating.

To me, the question is: Do I want to drop the business I have so pain-strickenly build up over the years to go and give birth to a kid, or do I rather not have any kids and continue pursuing my dreams?

I thought the answer is obvious. Most people do not understand how hard it is to set up and maintain a business, and how much harder to make it self-sustainable without me.

My business is still so small, so I still need to manage the crucial parts of it. And I still need to work about 16 hours a day. Without me, the business cannot survive. I can't just take more than 1 week of leave. Nor can I go meet clients with a big stomach. (No clients will want to do business with me.)

When you are single, friends try to convince you to get married. When you are married, they try to convince you to have kids and start a family. When you plan to have kids after age 35, they try to convince you that you will have complications, etc.

Frankly, I don't really care. I don't even think I am physically fit enough (due to my back and knee problems) to have kids. Even if at age 35, if I want to have a kid, I will have. I would probably adopt. To me, that is a very viable option. I don't need to go through the pregnancy stage.

Someone ought to publish some article that having kids after age 35 in Singapore is better. Simply because you are richer. So life will be better.

Maybe someone also ought to publish the list of celebrities that has given birth after age 35.

Quote 18 - Dreaming About Sleeping

2009-02-28T03:01:00.004+08:00

"Everyday, I wish I can have 8 hours of sleep each day. When I finally have the luxury to do that, I would have probably made some great achievements."

- WomanNextDoor

Pausing.. And Looking Back..

2009-02-28T02:10:00.023+08:00

Do you missed what you used to have? Sometimes my friends and family asked me. They meant, if I missed being an employee. Fact is, I don't.

Since I stepped into focus on doing business and aimed for the sky, I never looked back. I felt more completed doing what I am doing right now.

Though initially, when I first started out on my own, I had to be the super generalist as I have to do every role in my business. From sales, admin, web design, software designs, programming, installation, troubleshooting, tech support, to customer service. Yes, every single role. It was really tiring. And I hardly sleep.

I guessed, that was my sacrifice. My health, for a while. About... 5 years so far. Time flies. (Luckily, I started doing this in my mid twenties.)

In each of these roles, I may not be the best person for it, but when I set my mind to it, I can be. But then, when all these roles are put together, it can be very tiring for the brain. Every other minute, a phone call will come in to interupt my thoughts when I am concentrating on the project implementation, and customer will pose some question or issue which I have look into again.

These interuptions forces me to keep switching thoughts and mindset to suit the thinking-role. As a salesperson, I have to think about what will make the customer buy. And as the business owner, I look at the issues from a overview and much wider angle. As the programmer, I have to focus on the micro aspects of the systems and how each programming code work to give the end results the design requires.

If I were just an employee, I will only need to do my role well, and don't bother about other issues.

If I were just an employee, my stress level is only about my role. And I were a salesperson last time. So my stress is only about bringing the sales in every month to keep my job. That, by itself, is no doubt a very stressful job as well. Our director will sack salespersons who does not meet the sales target for 2 months or so.

However, this job was very micro-focused as well. It is pretty systematic after a while. I just go for the statistics. There are no emotions involved. I can handle my job so well. I felt super-confident since then, because of the pay check I get. It is not that much. But for a quite fresh graduate, I thought it was quite alright.

But then, after working as a salesperson for some time, I find that I only used about maybe 10% of my brain in my job.

When I started doing businesses with some friends, I realised I like the challenges involved. And when I finally set up one all by myself, I knew it was what I wanted to do all along.

I was in control. I can ensure that the customer can be happy from the first to the last sales stage. It was very tiring doing everything alone, but I eventually managed to expand out a bit. I started to hire staff to help me.

Now, I only handle 3 major roles in the workflow, and delegates all the rest to my staff. These 3 roles happened to be the most critical, and what I am best at. Hopefully, in the near future, I will be able to delegate out another 1 or 2 more roles.

In the end, I just want to be able to sit at a Starbucks and drink my favourite green tea frappeccino whenever I feel like it. And just read magazines. Doing this once in a while refreshes my mind, and makes me feel like I'm some top management position bluffer. (I do do this once in a while now, but, not enough.)

If I were an employee, I will also be aiming this position and role.

So, I don't see the point. Might well go for the highest point in the sky. I guess, I like to be challenged. If things are always the same, I would feel bored, and my job-efficiency will drop.

My mum tells me all the time, that I have chosen to lead a hard life. I alway tell her this, I chose this because I know I can do it. Only by doing this, will I feel that I use all aspects of my brain.

No doubt, I take a much lower pay than I could have outside, for past years. I also take a higher risk. Risk of having no pay. Risk of incurring debts. Risk of not being able to handle a company's overheads. Risk of losing money, in short.

Well. At least now, I can stay at home and sleep through one whole day whenever I want or need the sleep.

Until the day, where my managers will be able to handle the issues without me, then I guess I have met my first target. That is setting up a business that is self-sustainable.

When that happens, I'll be setting up another business. (I told you I am a workaholic.) I'm looking forward to this.

Anger Management - Tolerance Of A Growing Fire

2009-02-09T01:22:00.011+08:00

What do you do when you are very angry with someone?

For me, the first thing I'd do is to tell the person that I do not like that particular action in a nice way. And I would state very clearly that I do not want that action to be repeated. I make sure the person understands what I am saying.

If the person is my employee, I give 1 or 2 chances at maximum. At the 2nd or 3rd time, I would sack him. Strictly. Because I believe that there are certain principles and rules to be followed at work.

If the person is a good friend, and the friend has done something extremely disappointing, I would give maybe 1 or 2 chances too. The next time it occurs, I would disown the friend.

If the person is a normal friend, he won't get a single chance.

If the person is my family member, he will probably get to see the partial or full extend of my flare.

We are all humans. I do get very very angry at certain things. Certain things that I have zero tolerance for. But I would like to think that I have very good anger management skills. I try to solve the problem without showing any outlets of the anger. E.g. Strangling the person, slapping the person's face, punching his cheeks, throwing items around in house.

Many a times, we wish we could do that to that someone. But we can't. Due to some moral principles, and some legal restrictions.

When I am angry, I would normally follow the above rules of thumb I have set for myself. So that when it happens, I would think of what to do now instead of shouting out at that person, which doesn't solve the problem.

My take is: If violence can solve the problem without additional problems, I would gladly use it. If it can't, then I have to find other ways.

I'm only human. I am not confident of being able to control my temper every single time. But at least, I will try.

I have too many plans on my own life, to destroy all of them in the spur of the moment.

But that's me. How good are you at controlling yours?

Soon To Be... My Car

2009-02-01T14:55:00.001+08:00

Although it won't be mine very soon, nor in the near future, I just want to make myself happy for now.

Quote 17 - What Does It Takes

2009-02-01T13:52:00.005+08:00

"To start a business, one has to be brave. Brave enough to lose it all, and face whatever tough seas that will appear.

To become a self-made millionaire businessman, one has to be super driven, super self-disciplined, focused, super good planner, and be exceptionally lucky, to succeed.

Very occasionally, there will be one businessmen who succeeded although he is low on all factors except for the extremely good luck he has.

This is like '1 in a thousand millionaires' case. There is very high probability that ALL of us don't have that kind of lucky life."

- WomanNextDoor

A Fresh Start

2009-02-01T13:28:00.003+08:00

Have you ever felt that you can do almost anything now? There was a period of time when I felt that. And for a short period of time, overwhelmed by work and the many things that happened at work and home, I stopped feeling that.

The good news is, after the good rest over Chinese New Year, I kinda feel that now. This year, I had a stretch of 6 days of holidays. That is quite good for someone like me who hardly have any leave every year, although the 6 days were mostly spent going out to shop, watch movie, eat, and visiting.

This year, from now on, things will get more challenging.

Most companies are drown in the recession's 'tidal waves'. Somehow, I feel the opportunities are lurking in the corners. Hopefully this year, my luck is good. So I will get more clients, and I don't get too many bad clients.

Cross my fingers. Hope for the best.

2009 New Year Eve

2009-01-01T14:48:00.003+08:00

A shot from my handphone. Night shots from it are very pixelated. But neverthless, the picture below is priceless. Due to heavy drinking, one can only get puke everywhere. :)

Happy New Year!

Long-Distance Psychology

2008-12-24T14:34:00.030+08:00

Recently, after talking to a friend about his marriage, I finally understand how my ex had felt last time, when breaking up with me. I couldn't understand it fully last time. But I know it now.

We had a long-distance relationship. The thing about long distance relationships is, you talk over web cam using msn messenger and skype. And you are under the mercy of the internet access providers. Words are slightly delayed by about 1 second. So holding a conversation can be tiring. Irritating to some people. And seeing the person at the other end of the webcam, is... like viewing a stagnant picture. Perhaps, just moving pictures. Hardly even close to a real video. That was 4 to 5 years ago. Where internet access wasn't as fast as now, and where web cams are not as good as now.

Being apart so often and so long, sometimes you will forget how it used to feel being in love, to love, and being physically close to that other half of yours.

So when a third party come into the picture, it is very easy to be tempted by the lust offered, which you can't get and remember vaguely about, with your other half.

He was tempted, I deduced now, from the things he had said before. He couldn't take the long distance any longer. So he broke up with me.

There were two sides of his thoughts. One side of him wanted to be with me. One side wanted to leave. Only today, I fully understand the state of confusion he was in.

Sex is really important part of a relationship and can make or destroy a relationship. Especially for people with high sex drive. Let alone coupled in the long-distance issue.

If this happens to you, will you be able to hang on?

Thinking back, if our roles were swopped, I'm not sure either.

Way of Life

2008-12-21T14:51:00.007+08:00

We grew up knowing all these. We are supposed to go to school, get good grades, get a good job, get married, get a flat, have kids, and continue to work hard and enjoy family life.

But what if somewhere in the middle, we find that we don't want to do standard things in the future, what do we do then?

For example, if we just want to stay married, and not have kids. Or if you are already married, and you decided you prefer to be single. Or if you are single now, you decided you just want to hang out with the current boyfriend for now, and not want to marry.

When you let anyone know that you are deciding such things, every friend you know will try their best to persuade you to do 'what you should be doing'. And what we supposedly should be doing, is the right thing. The supposedly right and standard "way of life".

But how much do they know about you? Supposedly, you prefer to be single and you are happier this way. Probably for now, you probably just want to live your life this way. And you will, until you are about 45 years old for ladies, and 55 years old for guys, when you can't possibly party or have flings much anymore, you would want a companion to grow old with. Just to curb the loneliness and avoid going crazy staying alone.

In the end, we just need some company we trust. With our parents probably dead by then, and our siblings and good friends probably busy with their own families, we just want people to talk to.

Supposedly we all grow old to 80 years old, would you rather:
(1) be happy for the first 50 years of your life, and unhappy for the next 30 years? Or
(2) be happy for first 30 years, get married and be unhappy for 20 years, and just be neutral for the last 30 years?

Or do you want to (3) attempt the Way of Life, because you may be happy for whole 80 years of your life?

Welcome to the real new world, where divorces rates are up, gays and lesbians coming-out-of-closets rates are up, and single people populations are up.

Somehow, with this new 'everyone is financially-independent' idea growing, most people tend to be more decisive. It is really no longer like our parents generation, where yes, they did follow the way of life. Even if they have 2nd partners outside their marriage, they did not divorce.

Amazing, sometimes I think, how they managed their life. Its like they resigned themselves to their fate.

Perhaps.

But what is your choice?

Crossroads

2008-12-11T01:28:00.030+08:00

What do you do when you feel a bit tired of life?

Almost everyday, we hear our friends complaining about their friends, family, work, money, boring lives, and many other things. And especially more recently, about the bad economy and how it affects them.

With so much voices ringing in your ear, you probably start to wonder if there are more and more people getting depression these days.

For me, I am not a power ranger. I do feel tired of different things sometimes. I think there too many pressures in my life. Too many things happening. Too many things not happening.

Normally, my mind will be thinking about my businesses for almost 24 hours everyday. These days, I would find myself thinking about other issues. My mind will just wander away.

I think my mind is too tired. A bit too lack of sleep.

Seriously, will you lose your faith?

Will you start to believe that what you used to believe in, may be wrong?

Will you make the choice to do something different this time? Will it make any difference in your life?

Well, it is time to decide.

Starry Dreams

2008-11-18T23:50:00.003+08:00

Have you ever wanted to be a star? One of my friends is now a singer.

Seeing him do all the things to hope to establish himself in taiwan, I kinda feel proud and happy for him. And at the same time, I realised it is really very hard to reach your dreams.

One has to work really really hard.

Hope he gets there. Then I will have one very famous friend. Haha....

But of course, I'll make myself famous one day too.

One day.

Quote 16 - Focus

2008-11-14T15:35:00.000+08:00

"What's past, should remain only in the past. Only the present and future is more important."

- WomanNextDoor

Quote 15 - Recession

2008-11-14T15:29:00.003+08:00

"Recession goes on and off. But life goes on."

- WomanNextDoor

Strays

2008-11-14T15:29:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I wonder if it is part of what marriage is for some people. Recently, I have been hearing complaints from friends about their marriage.

Some are straying. Apparently, from the lack of sex and attention from their wives. For some, this started to happen after marriage. For some, it is after the kids are born.

What reasons do their spouses give? Tiredness from work. Or they can't find time alone, as their kids are disturbing them till late at night, and their spouse sleeps early. Or the spouse rather spend time with the kids. Or the spouse just don't want to get intimate after having kids already.

Some even complained, even after just 3-4 years of marriage, their spouse don't kiss them on the lips anymore.

I think, this is quite sad.

I think if the spouse treasures their relationship, he/she should try to put more effort into it. I think everyone has their needs. If the needs are not fulfilled by their spouse, these friends simply looked elsewhere.

Maybe that's why divorces are going up. My divorce lawyer friend once told me that about 25% of marriages end up in divorce in Singapore. And the reason is normally because the guy strayed. And these are normally executives and above levels. Meaning their household income is quite good.

Maybe because when guys are rich, they will spend it. On gals, of course.

Welcome to the real Singapore.

Tired

2008-11-14T14:49:00.003+08:00

Have you ever feel a bit tired about your life? At this moment, I do.

I don't want to spend so much time in work everyday till late at night, but I have to. Partly, because it is the recession period, and it is quite critical now to be super responsive to clients and manage projects tightly. We don't know what will happen tomorrow, really.

Partly also, I need to be very very tired then I can sleep immediately as I lie down on the bed. It becomes a habit. Just so that my brain will stop pondering on all sorts of topics and issues and make it even harder to sleep.

How long does it take you to fall asleep when you hit the pillows? Me, less than 15 seconds. Sometimes, I'll even fall asleep in front of the TV. To me, that is quite a good stimulant to fall asleep. Although a bit wasteful of electricity... but.... ok la... let's not get too particular about that.

What do you think about when you are free? Me, I'm actually quite a simple person. I'll only think about the standard topics: Work, Husband, Family, Sleep, Sex, Music.

Recently, too many things happened at home, and to family members, so, I rather just spend all conscious hours on work and thinking about work. So I will not think about anything else.

I know at this rate, one day, I will be very successful, then I may get insomnia, from all the spare time I have to think about other things.

So I guess.... I'll continue to work hard for life! Luckily, it is my passion too.

I guess, most of the times, I rather not think about any other issues.

Recession goes on and off. But life goes on.

Quote 14 - Dream Car

2008-10-17T13:35:00.002+08:00

"Although we all aim hard to reach our dreams, it is very hard to get your dream car. Because by the time you can reach your aim, the car is out of production already. Welcome to reality."

- WomanNextDoor

Next Car... A Personal Review

2008-10-15T15:38:00.020+08:00

Have you ever wonder what your next car will be?

Some of the cars I will be aiming for. For next car. Maybe. I don't know. Maybe many things will change in next 3 years. Maybe this current car is so good that I'll stick with it till the 5th year? Or more?

Toyota is reliable. So not a problem.

This is Toyota Parallel Import. Mark X. This is the version that has been "mod" by others. Actually, Marx X looks nice when modified. Right? It is class too, when original. The interiors is posh too. Only thing is it is a 2.5 litre car. (Why do we need so high cc car?) But then again, this is a cheaper version of a posh coupe kind of car. Haha.... What to do, my Audi TT Coupe seems more than a few years away. But nevermind, I will work hard!!

I really would like to own a Subaru WRX and drive like those rally racers. But the look of it is too "Ah Beng" right? I can drift, you know. But I'd need a cheaper end and good sports car to test out right. Sigh. See below.

So no choice, the alternative is to have Subaru Legacy GT instead. As follows:

Nice, right? Looks sleek. :)

One possibility is also Honda Accord 2008 or Euro Version of it, which is more sporty.

This is the Euro version below:

Actually, I know that Honda Civic suits me and is more practical as it is not that big a car. But nowadays, we have been seeing too many people trying to modify that model. Sigh. It is becoming a Beng car too.

But if this one comes in, and is affordable. Haha. I will consider this one. Hahaha... For sure, cheaper than my Audi TT Coupe right? They look similar! This one's the new Honda Accord Coupe. :)

But of course, Audi TT Coupe is still the best. Saw one having an accident that day. Good luck to the driver behind that 'bang' him. Ouch!

Disclaimer: This is a fantasizing time, during work hours. I know. :D

Quote 13 - Luck

2008-10-09T00:42:00.001+08:00

"Sometimes being successful in life is not about being capable, it is also mostly about luck."

- WomanNextDoor

Quote 12 - Failures

2008-10-09T00:29:00.003+08:00

"Although I believe many failures bring about a successful person, I don't really want to be a successful person that way. How strong do you have to be, to turn all the failures around? I don't think so highly of myself to be able to do so, every single time. I just want to make sure, that I don't fail in anything I want to do."

- WomanNextDoor

Big Dreams

2008-10-09T00:20:00.005+08:00

What are the biggest dreams you have?

I was browsing websites for information. And I came across cars I really like. You know, the usual, Audi, Toyota, sedans, coupes, etc. Then I realised. I missed out some things in my post on 'my plans'. There are a few dream businesses that I always wanted to set up. If there is an opportunity in future, I will try to set up these businesses.

1. Car parallel importer
2. Properties management company
3. Music-related companies
4. Properties development company

I know these are all big dreams. All requiring heavy investments. I think, when I can start one of them, I can also start the other two. Just which one first. Except for the 4th one. That one will need to wait some time.

Setting and managing businesses are really very hard. There's still such a long road before I can reach these 4 ideal businesses.

Must work hard.

Quote 11 - Medication

2008-10-06T01:41:00.000+08:00

"Sick people's medication makes people more sick."

- WomanNextDoor

Tired...

2008-10-04T02:08:00.002+08:00

Have you ever been so tired but still can't sleep?

I'm so tired.. now. I have been having lack of sleep for months and probably years. But my brain keeps on running through every task I am doing, and refuses to sleep.

It is stressful at office and at home.

Nowadays, I will only go to bed if I am sleepy enough to doze off in front of the tv. That's quite sad right?

I miss having my usual outlets of stress.

Hopefully in my new house, everything will be back to normal. Sigh.

Facebook

2008-10-04T00:15:00.005+08:00

Have you wonder how some of your old friends are doing now?

Recently, I have 'hanging out' at Facebook. Testing out different applications. Messaging with old friends. And once in a while, I thought of some old friends, and tried searching for them. But so far, to no avail.

Come to think of it, I think it is amazing how some of my secondary friends managed to find me in Facebook.

Anyway, of the people I searched, some of them are good friends that I am still in contact with. (Just wanted to see if they are 'hip' or not now, by being on facebook.). Some are exs. Some are some good friends I treasured, but lost contact with.

I think I found some of them. But too bad their profiles are private. So I can't peeped at their life without adding them as friends.

Too bad. I guess, the search ends here.

For these, I don't have the courage to add them as friend, just to see their info. Too many things has happened in the past with them already, I guess. As much as I miss their company, I guess they have to stay as just a fragment of my memory.

Hmm. I also realised that I forgot some exs names. Amazing. I think we are old already. Or maybe there were too many exs last time. :)

My Plans

2008-09-21T16:00:00.012+08:00

Time to run through all the plans I have.

I believe, when you can clear out all the things you want in your life. Materialistic stuff or not. Then you can aim better for them!

Anyway... Here are my Objectives, my Goals, & my Dreams!!

Things I Need To Have (Probably In Order Of Procession):
1. Set up own business (Done!)
2. Good Husband (Done!)
3. Regular Sex (Doing!)
4. Car (Done!)
5. Nice HDB Apartment (Done!)
6. Clean, neat, comfy, simply-decorated home (coming soon)
7. Home Studio (new one coming soon)
8. Good health (no more back problems... pending........ )
9. 2 Kids (pending......... )
10. Good camera
11. Lots of space cash
12. Lots of insurance (Done! But of course, more is always better)
13. Works 10 to 5pm, 5 days a week. (This is a hard goal)
14. Lots of clothes
15. Owns a group of successful companies
16. Owns damn nice and big offices.
17. Spare time to cook for family a few times a week
18. Healthy family members
19. Have kids that are have good values, not spoilt, and can make their own money
21. Owns music company
22. Sells songs
23. Penthouse Condo
24. Spa Membership
25. Nice Watches ;)
26. Marina Raffles club membership
27. Powerboat license
28. Yacht
29. Owns a restaurant
30. Travels often for work (hmm. was doing this often for past few years)
31. Owns companies overseas

The Ideal Home I Want To Have:
1. Plasma TV
2. Nice Couch
3. King Size Simmons Bed
4. Bar Counter At Home
5. Nice Bath Tub (if 'someone' wants to wash it!)
6. Nice Furnitures
7. European Style Oil Paintings
8. Sculptures
9. Big Closet
10. Don't really want a maid living with me

Watches I Want To Have:
1. Tissot Watches
2. Giogio Armani
3. More Gucci Watches
4. More CK Watches

Good Music Equipment I Need To Have In My Life:
1. A Good Keyboard (Korg!)
2. A Good Digital Piano (Yamaha!)
3. Good Speaker Monitors (Any Brand!)
4. Good Mixer (Any Brand!)
5. Good Mic (Any Brand!)
6. Good Headphones (Any Brand!)
7. Nice Couch
8. A Concert Grand Piano (Steinway!)

Cars I Need To Have In My Life (Probably In Order Of Procession):
1. Subaru Legacy (Nice and can chiong, but drinks too much petrol. Sigh)
2. Subaru WRX (Ideal chionging machine. I'm a rally person. Singapore roads not gd for high-end coupes)
3. Audi A4 (Good enough for long-term use)
4. Audi TT Coupe (My dream car! Although practically, own 1 year or so will do.)
5. Audi A6 (As 1st car! Damn nice!)
6. Mercedes Coupe (2nd car. Damn nice to keep!)
7. Lamborghini (2nd car. Just to fulfil sports car dream)
8. Bentley Coupe (2nd car. Damn nice to keep!)
9. Bentley Sedan (As 1st car! Ultimate Goal!)
10. Jaguar (As 1st car! Nice to retire with. Not ex, but, wrong image as I'm still too young for it now)

Hmm. I think I'm a very car person. :D

I think my gender is set wrong since I'm born. :D

MTV Cribs

2008-09-21T15:49:00.004+08:00

Have you ever thought if what you have in your life right now is enough? For me, it is certainly not there, yet. Still a far road to go.

Recently, I have seen some MTV Cribs episodes on the Starhub SCV MTV channel. Cribs shows all the famous people's houses and apartments. All of them posh. Each of them exudes the person's styles and life focuses.

Black guys will have lots of big and sporty cars. Family guys will have a more homely feel and some family gathering and bbq corners. Party guys have really posh and fun Game Rooms. Guys who are neat or seldom home are more of minimalists.

I feel motivated watching these. Do have a lot of wants. But won't be able to achieve these so soon.

But I've got some plans. Coming up soon... Hope everything works out. :)

Joke 2 - Airline Talk

2008-09-12T02:12:00.003+08:00

You know how all the air stewardess goes on the plane, when they make announcements. They always have this funny accent, which stays throughout their different languages' speeches. It will probably goes something like this:

"Ladies and gentlemen, we welcome you to the flight of 001. We are currently busy at the moment. Please leave us your orders at the end of the beep........"

Pause.

More pause.

Joke 1 - MacDonalds

2008-09-12T02:06:00.003+08:00

I've decided that I'm going to keep a list of jokes from now on. I want to prove that I am a funny person. Haha... anyway...

You know when you have been eating too much of MacDonald's Breakfast when, after collecting your order at the Drive-Thru, the familiar service lady said to you, with a wide grin towards the end of her sentence, "Here's your change. Thank you very much. Enjoy your day. Hope to see you tomorrow!"

And I think to myself, "O.. K... ". And I know it is time to reflect on my diet.

Blue Tuesday

2008-09-03T02:20:00.003+08:00

I'm tired. Mentally exhausted from work. My lower and middle back hurts. Shoulders aching. Left hand's fingers feel weak from old nerve injury.

Sigh. I really miss my old music keyboard.

I wish I have an outlet of destress now.

I miss partying the nights away in the discos. Dancing can actually keep one fit, and also help to relax. Those were the days. An alternative now of course, is just alcohol to relax the night away.

Quote 10 - Judging People

2008-08-18T01:19:00.002+08:00

"To me, there are no such thing as a good or a bad person.
There are only 2 types of people in the world. The Rich. And the Poor."

- WomanNextDoor

Sick of Wisdom Teeth

2008-08-18T01:07:00.003+08:00

I really hate wisdom tooth issues man. I thought I already get over them years ago. I had even laughed at my friends for having issues with them, because mine was a simple and cheap extraction for all 4 wisdom teeth.

They were simple dental procedures for me that time.

Now, its all coming back to me again.

I'm having my gum infection from one of the wisdom tooth again. It is the second time now.

It is so very irritating, painful, and expensive to fix.

Sigh. Hate taking tablets.

My Calling

2008-08-18T00:38:00.007+08:00

With my beloved KORG music keyboard recently spoilt, and having no space in my current house for a new one, I miss making music.

Since I was about 4 years old to about 21 years old, I would jam on my keyboard for an hour each day. And once I started working, I play only about 2 to 3 times a week, mostly on weekends.

Getting a good keyboard is a heavy investment. Costing at least a couple of thousands for a good one. And about a thousand for a very basic and decent amp and speakers systems. Then connecting the whole thing to a good PC for simple mixing and recording. Hopefully in the next few years, I can put up a reasonable studio at home, with about 6 thousands bucks budget. And that, is a very low end one. Sigh.

Far from my dream of putting up one with about 10 to 15 thousand bucks.

I realised I haven't been focusing much on my song writing. Especially recently, when work and health and family issues have taken such a front seat in my life that, I have little energy left to be.... creative.

Creative is the word, I guess.

Writing songs, is so much about feelings. I need to have a clear mind and be "of enough sleep" state, then I'll be able to write the songs in the styles I want. I'll need to focus myself to feel my melody. Maybe having been in many emotional ups and downs when younger helps.

Man.. I need to be focused.

No matter how stressful my business is, I have to continue to do this. Continue to compose melodies. After all, it is the 1st main reason I am alive.

The 2nd reason is setting up and managing businesses.

To me, these 2 purposes are my Calling. I live to do these things. And if I have to do these, I have to do them very well. Else, I don't want to do any of them at all.

Olympics 2008 Silver For Team Table Tennis

2008-08-18T00:34:00.002+08:00

So, Singapore won the Silver medal in the end... Although as hopeless for the Gold as we know, I sat in front of the tv for the live telecast nevertheless, waiting for a mircale.

But of course, the Zhang Yining, Guo Yue and Wang Nan team, is too formidable.

But still, it is an interesting match.

I'll be looking forward for the singles for Li Jia Wei. At least, she's been in Singapore for about 13 years, and been a citizen here for about 9 years, I find her more worthy for us to feel proud about.

We Got Into Finals of Olympics 2008!

2008-08-16T01:25:00.003+08:00

Amazingly, Singapore got into the finals for the Beijing Olympics 2008's Table Tennis Women Team event.

During the live telecast, I was at work, of course. But during my meeting at my client's, we were constantly updated on the semi finals' live scoreboard on the Olympics official website. Everyone was so jumpy and nervous about the game. Its amusing.

When we won, I felt so proud of Singapore's team.

Never mind about the fact that the Table Tennis team is made up of foreign imports from China. I still feel so happy about it.

A few possible reasons for your information.

The Singapore gvt actually go scout to China and scout potential sportsmen in their teens, and get them to come to Singapore to live and train.

And... Singapore is generally made up of migrants anyway. And majority from China. My grandparents are too. And half my friends migrated to Singapore only in their teens. So, to me, this is quite acceptable.

Their formula to liven up the sports culture in Singapore is really working. I think from now on, we'll have more medals from Olympics. Potentially. :)

I don't really care who helped us win. As long as we win.

We need some publicity about our country anyway. And show other people we have good sportsmen too!

Anyway, if you haven't realised, this is actually quite a good method to get Singaporeans to feel patriotic.

Plus the casinos coming up, I think Singaporeans will be more happy from next 2 years on.

Why 2 years? Because the economy's going to be bad for the next 1 to 2 years. But that besides the point, the government has got quite good insight on the sports thingy.

Though the World Cup target is toooooo... hard.

Let's focus on individual sports, shall we?

11 good people on a team, is too expensive to maintain. And looks wierd if they are all from western countries.

Events. Events. Events.

2008-06-12T18:17:00.000+08:00

Recently, life has been quite eventful. Not in a good way. It will be better not to have those events. But, of course these events won't be able to kill me.

Firstly, lots of things happen at home. I had to move out. I had to shop for furnitures. Then the hassle of moving everything out. Then settling down at the new home. Then the hassle of informing all related companies of my new address at the Very north part of Singapore.

Then, in my sleep state, I missed seeing a pillar at the back of my car. And I kissed my car against the appear-from-no-where small-pillar. And I'm going to spend $320+ on the repairs..... Marked down from the original $500 or so. I skipped the repainting works. Sigh. So small case, yet so expensive. Moral of the story here: Do not watch midnight show and drive home. If you must drive home, choose a familiar normal parking lot in your condo.

Then, there's being sick once again. Fever (again) and flu (again!). Its my 5th sick event this year. This year better be great. I broke many records in life so far this year.

In the midst of everything, its a few servicing and checks for my new Toyota Axio. Wasted a few days on that. Running here and there. Driving, I mean.

I also got a few customers who tried not to pay me. I have to spend on legal assistance from my company lawyer. I have to waste my time. These people all ought to die. Waste my time. Moral of the story here: Even if you are a responsible and not an unethical businessman, you meet your opposites all the time, everywhere, still, very easily. And these people all ought to kill themselves for trying to default payments on not-big amounts. Although a few of these will amount to quite a big sum still.

Life goes on.

Quote 11 - Life's Only Practicality

2008-05-14T00:30:00.005+08:00

"To me, there are no such thing as a good or a bad person. There are only 2 types of people in the world. The Rich. And the Poor. " - quoted by WomanNextDoor

We all need a simpler life. And life concept. And be less emotional about unnecessary issues.

If anything happens at work, just solve it, and get on with life. If anything happens at your life outside work, just admit you have a sad life, and get on with it.

Life is so short, just enjoy your social and family life, and make lots of money in your job. Trust me, you'll be happier.

Quote 10 - Hope

2008-05-14T00:27:00.001+08:00

I need to note this somewhere. Archive this quote.

"We hope for now. We may not reach our goals this time. But we must never lose hope." - WomanNextDoor.

Car News

2008-05-14T00:14:00.002+08:00

Last weekend, I collected my new Toyota Axio already. And these few days, although I have to check on some indicator light that keeps coming on, and hopefully nothing big is spoilt, I am very happy.

Glad that I chose black leather seats too. Looks sleek inside. And outside.

I had immediately placed my 'properties' inside the car. Although some usual CDs were missing, as my dad sold off our older car with my CDs in them (again!).

Life goes on now. Good to be back to driving car to and fro work. And meetings. I am slightly more alert during work now.

Yes, it does make a difference.

Health NOT In Check!

2008-05-13T23:58:00.002+08:00

Wrong calculations actually. I was sick in:

Jan - fever
Mar - flu in China
Apr - flu
May - gum pain

4 times!!

Glad that I am now healthy. Hate being sick.

Need to adjust back my health these days. Ahhhh....

Calmness

2008-05-10T03:36:00.005+08:00

Calmness. Do you have it? When a friend betrays you for some reason that is minor and stupid, and wants to take a bite at you, will you bite back?

In my years of doing business, I have not met anyone so irresponsible. My mistake was, in taking that person as a friend. Hence, missing out some documentations that I should have made. For taking her verbal words as a sign of agreement.

It was suddenly, when she reliquished all her responsibilities as a director in the company, and just leave me in the clutches of her seemingly-big-share-holder-partner's hands.

For me, we have delivered our services. If not just 1.5 weeks late of a 2-3 months + project. Moreover, the dates are just estimated timings.

Now, her new main director partner, is threatening to sue me at the courts to get back the deposit amount.

And to think, I was about to decide to sue her for the final payments or not. And I was holding back, because she is a friend and is a partner at the company.

Thing is, the project amount is only a few k. Although I had made some loss doing business with her, as I had given discount to her because she is a friend, that amount is little to me.

The issue here is, who's fault is it?

My fault is slight delayed delivery. But we have already finished her project to the specifications.

Her reasons, are all sorts of email correspondence that missed out some verbal confirmations. And instructions from her.

So in the end it is this: To me, I just want to recover the remaining amounts of money. To her partner, they just want to suddenly cancel the project and claim back the deposit money. What kind of reason is this?

Why would a person give a friend a business, and act like the best friend in the world, and then just cut off all contacts with the friend suddenly. And not to mention at the same time, blabber all sorts of stories to other mutual friends.

I have been in business long enough to know what is doable and what is not. To save time and money, I can just give back the money and that's it. Thing is, we are not at fault.

But I will remember her. And the ruthless partner of hers.

I don't believe God will punish all the ruthless people in the world in their current life, while they still remember it. But I definitely will. Do it for God. One day.

Blocked Nose

2008-04-30T02:26:00.002+08:00

This is the 2nd time I am sick this year. Although not very serious, my health stats are really bad!! Ahhhhh... I need my car to let me rest a bit everyday.